According to nationwide survey analysts, the average wedding costs almost $27,000 in 2016. Michiganders, however, spent almost 10%, averaging just shy of $25,000 per wedding day. Nonetheless, that accounted for a splurge of $1.4 billion statewide just to say “I do”. What an investment. Obviously, few people expect their relationship to fall apart on their wedding day. Of course, marriages do end. Fortunately, a well-planned and administered prenup can help expedite a Michigan divorce while saving a lot of headaches in the process. But how do you go about asking your intended for a prenup?
Have a Conversation, Not a List of Demands
Just the word “prenup” conjures up all sorts of concerns. And many of those linger around the commitment to the marriage. But the truth is, a prenup can actually strengthen your marital future. More and more couples are marrying later in life nowadays. Long gone are the days when women simply left their family home and rushed right into their husband’s arms. Couples are now more likely to have accrued assets of their own prior to finding the loves of their lives. A good prenup is a mutual decision on how your assets and finances will be divided if the marriage fails for any reason. This means everyone will be more secure in the long run.
Be Upfront and Vulnerable
The last thing you want is for your intended to think you have doubts about the impending union. But it is normal and expected for both of you to be concerned, excited, and hopeful for the future. This is a great time to put yourself in the hot seat and admit your future fears for your own independence and security if the marriage fails down the road. After all, do you really want to have to sell the property you purchased before meeting your future spouse if things don’t work out? All marriages end–either by divorce or through death. So be honest, open, and don’t lose your cool. The more you handle before the nuptials, the less you’ll need to worry about afterward.
Listen and Be Present – Don’t Just Talk
Chances are things will get a bit heated during the prenup discussion. Pause, take a deep breath and try a different approach by shutting the mouth and opening the ears. You’ve had the floor, now give your intended the chance to take it. And don’t interrupt. If you do, your words will be immediately filtered out. Even if you’re frustrated or angry about your partner’s opinions and views, be sure to at least appear to be paying apt attention. According to MIT research, 51% of the brain processing is based on visual information. So yes, your body language matters.
Put It On a Shelf for Later
As lovely as it would be for everyone to be on the same page, some serious life-altering topics require an extended approach. If your partner is against the topic of a prenup, don’t dive in head first. Instead, dip your toes in the water and test the temperature. As it changes, dip more of your body into the water. Start early and if you’re consistent, you’ll likely have everything settled well before the big day. And if nothing else works, contact a competent divorce attorney for suggestions since a good prenup can help avoid a messy divorce down the road.